MEDICAL BILLING BLOG

   Mark Twain said, "The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."  That's the way many small business owners feel nowadays, with proposed increases in taxes, along with mandates and increases in health insurance.  Just the other day, one business owner reminded me of the Will Rogers quote, "The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."

   In the midst of the tax and health care "reforms" and the economic situation, I received an article earlier this week containing a survey reporting 70% of employed Americans are afraid of losing their jobs.  So, it is important during times such as these that we not only draw upon humor from great wits like Mark Twain and Will Rogers, but also draw from such quotes as Thomas Edison's, "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.  The most certain way to succeed is always try just one more time."  Reminds me of the story of George Washington Carver...

   I vividly recall reading Carver's biography in one of those orange, hardcover books available in our elementary school library.  (I wrote a column several years ago about how much I enjoyed and benefitted from this great series of children's books.)  Carver grew up at the close of the Civil War in a one-room shanty on the property of Moses Carver, the man who owned Carver's mother.  He and his mother were abducted from Moses Carver and sold to new owners.  The boy was later found and returned to Moses Carver, but his mother was never seen again.

   Rising from slavery, George Washington Carver became one of the 20th century's greatest scientists, and his influence is still being felt today.  He devoted his life to understanding nature and the many uses for plants.  He is best known for developing crop-rotation methods for conserving nutrients in soil and discovering hundreds of new uses for crops such as the peanut and the sweet potato.  His work and the manner in which he lived his life led to his becoming one of the most respected people in U.S. history.

   However, in the beginning of his work, after he recommended farmers should plant peanuts and sweet potatoes instead of cotton, he suffered his greatest trials.  The farmers lost even more money than they were losing with cotton due to the lack of a large market for peanuts and sweet potatoes.  Carver cried out to God, "Mr. Creator, why did you even make the peanut?"  Many years later, he shared that God led him back to his lab and worked with him to discover some 300 marketable products from the peanut.  Likewise, he made over 100 discoveries from the sweet potato.  These new products created a big demand for peanuts and sweet potatoes, and they were major contributors to rejuvenating the Southern economy.

   Carver arose early each morning to walk alone and pray.  He asked God how he was to spend his day and what God wanted to teach him that day. As he progressed and developed the many products that benefitted mankind and won him renown, he also turned down many offers - such as a six-figure income opportunity from Henry Ford.  He felt he was doing what God wanted him to do and doing the thing that would most benefit the people of America and the world.  George Washington Carver was the epitome of someone who lived by the quote later uttered by Edison, "...always try just one more time." 

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

   Former University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow became a hot discussion topic when Denver Broncos coach Josh McDaniels selected him in the NFL draft. Many of the comments have been of a very sarcastic, critical nature, such as one sportswriter demanding, "Fire Josh McDaniels for drafting a team chaplain in the first round." Only time will reveal the outcome of the selection, but the entire situation led me to think about hearing the late Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry say, "We're looking for character, not characters."

Regardless of any other talents and qualities one may possess, character often means the difference between life and death - of an organization or a person. I recall a "character segment" from the classic Lawrence of Arabia film. T.E. Lawrence, a British Army lieutenant during World War I, is leading a group of men across the Nefud Desert, considered impassable even by the Bedouins. Traveling day and night during the final stretch to reach water, they find an oasis. As the men celebrate and splash in the water, Lawrence discovers a riderless camel. The man apparently had fallen off during the night.

   Lawrence says, "We must go back and find him." But no one agrees to join Lawrence. They plead with him not to go, saying it is God's will he did not make it, that his fate was written by God. "We must not interfere," they declare.

   Lawrence climbs on a camel and heads back into the desert alone. The men shake their heads and say, "Now we have lost him, too." Two days later, a shimmering image emerges from the heat wave stretched across the sand dunes. The men stare, wipe their eyes, and stare again. Finally, someone yells, "It's Lawrence! He has found him!" They run toward Lawrence. He hands the unconscious survivor to them, looks into their faces and hoarsely whispers, "Remember this: Nothing ‘is written' unless you write it."    

   Has today's whole economic, social and political turmoil slapped you down? Is it now trying to "write you off?"

   J.C. Penney is a name well-known to most of us. He launched his chain of "The Golden Rule" department stores in 1907. His first wife died in 1910. He incorporated as the J.C. Penney Company in 1913. His second wife died giving birth to a son in 1923. The stock market crashed in 1929, and he lost $40 million.

   By 1932, J.C. Penney had to sell out to satisfy creditors, leaving him virtually broke. His spirit was crushed from his losses and his health began to fail. He ended up in a sanitarium. One morning while there, he heard the distant singing of employees who gathered to start the day with a chapel service. The words were, "Be not dismayed, whatever betide, God will take care of you. Beneath His wings of love abide, God will take care of you....."

   J.C. Penney followed the music to its source and slipped into a back row. He left a short time later a changed man, his health and spirit renewed, ready to start the long climb back at age fifty-six. By 1951, there was a J.C. Penney store in every state, and for the first time sales surpassed $1 billion a year.

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

   The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is a 1966 epic western film starring Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef and Eli Wallach in the title roles. One of the most popular and well-known westerns made, the film is regarded by many critics as a classic. It was one of Time magazine's "100 Greatest Movies of the Last Century." I explain all of this because Jean and I quite frequently refer to experiences, situations or people as The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

   The descriptive phrase came to mind earlier this week as I was reading a sports reporter's perception of a football game. The writer described one player as doing a "good" job in fulfilling his responsibilities. He then quoted a coach who said a player made a "bad" decision. The writer went on to quote another coach who said it was an "ugly" win.

   And then yesterday, as I reclined in a hospital bed awaiting the endoscopy procedure I get the pleasure of experiencing every five years (tongue-in-cheek), a nurse who was looking at information on a form asked me what I do as CEO/president of Carl Mays' Creative Living, Inc. When I told her I am a professional writer and speaker, she asked me what I write and speak about. I explained my specialization is in human relations, motivation, leadership, teamwork, communication and performance improvement. I then added I have spoken to quite a number of healthcare groups, including hospitals.

   The nurse responded, "I've been to some meetings like that." She paused and then continued, "Do you think that type of thing really works?" I replied, "Well, do you think what you do as a nurse really works?" She looked at me with sort of a deer-caught-in-the-headlight expression, and then nodded her head and said, "Yeah." I told her, "Your job works if you are a good, professional nurse who knows what you are doing and if the patients with whom you work are cooperative and come in with the right attitude. Am I right?" She nodded and said, "I guess so." I continued, "The meetings we're talking about work if you have a good, professional speaker who knows what he or she is doing and if the people who attend the meeting come with a cooperative spirit and the right attitude." The nurse said, "I guess you're right." I replied, "Well, I've made over 3,500 presentations - so either it works or I've been able to pull the wool over many people's eyes through the years." She nodded her head and said, "Good point."

   After a pause, the nurse commented, "But, you know, it won't work if the leaders don't buy into. You've got to have support from the leaders if it's going to work." I replied, "There is always a ladder of accountability - from the top to the bottom and from the bottom to the top. Every leader on every level and every team member on every level, who is accountable for tasks and responsibilities rather than making excuses or blaming others, is a part of the solution and not a part of the problem."

   The nurse nodded her head and said, "You're right." And then, I thought of the phrase that had been brought to mind earlier during the week and told her, "But in every organization of any kind, you always have The Good, the Bad and the Ugly." She laughed and nodded her head.

   My gastroenterologist was pleased with the results of my endoscopy - and, thus, so was I. Next week, I have the opportunity to experience my five-year colonoscopy. The saga of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly continues.

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

   Regular readers of this column know I have emphasized previously that according to the American Management Association, 90 percent of all problems in any organization is a direct result of poor communication.

One breakdown in communication that happens frequently is when we use a certain word in order to express ourselves and then the hearer takes the word in an entirely different way than we intended. With this in mind, and tongue-in-cheek, I share something from The Washington Post. 

   The newspaper annually publishes winning submissions to a contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for commonly used words. Some recent winners include: coffee (noun): the person upon whom one coughs; lymph (verb): to walk with a lisp; flabbergasted (adjective): appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained; abdicate (verb): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach; esplanade (verb): to attempt an explanation while drunk; negligent (adjective): absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown; flatulence (noun): emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller; circumvent (noun): an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

   Another breakdown in communication occurs when we mispronounce a word or when we misspell a word in a memo, e-mail message or some other document. A tiny alteration may tremendously change the meaning of what we were attempting to express. Such misuse of the language can produce destroyed relationships, lost jobs, lost money and other dire consequences. So looking at another communication barrier with tongue-in-cheek, I mention that The Washington Post also publishes winning submissions to its annual Mensa Invitational in which participants are asked to choose any word from the dictionary, alter the word by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and then supply the altered word with a new definition. 

   Some of these recent winners include: intaxication (noun): euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with; cashtration (noun): the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time; reintarnation (noun): coming back to life as a hillbilly; decafalon (noun): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you; bozone (noun): the substance surrounding people that stops new, bright ideas from penetrating; giraffiti (noun): words or images spray-painted very, very high; caterpallor (noun): the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you are eating; Beelzebug (noun): Satan, in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

   In my "Are We Communicating Yet?" book I pose the rhetorical question, "Why is there such a failure to communicate?" And then in response I emphasize that one reason is because people fail to keep in mind that good communication does not occur merely because an intended message has been presented. More important than what is said or written is how others perceive and respond to what they receive. The greatest obstacle to good communication is the assumption communication has taken place when it hasn't. The Washington Post contests present a humorous, clever way to exemplify how easily messages can be distorted.  

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

   On the occasions when I tell Jean something such as, "I'm going to the post office, drop by the pharmacy, then on to the bank, and I may swing by the hardware store on the way back," she often replies with something like, " Well, maybe I'll see you again today."  She knows when I "go out" there is no telling how many people I will run into and strike up a conversation with - and just how long I may be gone - unless I have a definite time by which I must return.

   But I don't plan these encounters.  I just know that when I do run into people and they want to talk, or they look like they need someone to talk with them, to give them some acknowledgement, or maybe a "pick-me-up," I feel that if conversing with them can make a difference in their days then I want to do it, with no second thought.  And, I usually enjoy it.

   Og Mandino (1923-1996), author of "The Greatest Salesman in the World" and other best sellers, was an early mentor who wrote one of the first testimonials for my "A Strategy For Winning" book.  We shared the speaking platform a few times, and something I recall Og saying is, "Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if he or she is going to be dead by midnight.  Extend to everyone all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward.  Your life will never be the same again."

   Og's words came to mind and this column was inspired by the recent death of Dave Baker, co-owner with brother-in-law Larry Cole of Five Oaks Tire and Service in Sevierville.  I was behind on getting the tires on one of my vehicles rotated and balanced.  Due to a heavy schedule I had been putting it off.  When I finally phoned early Tuesday morning, July 14, and Larry answered, I said, "Hi, Larry, this is Carl. How's it going?"  There was a pause, and then Larry replied, "Pretty good," in a manner that was rather un-Larry-like.  I said, "Well, I'd like to see if it might be possible for me to bring my truck over for rotation, balance, and maybe check the alignment this morning."

   There was another pause before Larry replied, "Well, Carl... here's the situation..."  I thought he was going to tell me about a big work load or something like that.  But Larry continued with, "Dave died Saturday..."  The pause was mine this time.  Larry went on to say, "We're closing today at noon, the funeral is tonight, and we won't be open tomorrow."  Of course, all thoughts of tires and rotation left my mind completely and I told Larry so.  We talked about Dave's sudden, truly unexpected death.  (Later, I discovered it was determined to be caused by a dislodged blood clot that probably formed about 38 years ago when Dave broke his leg in an automobile accident.)

   Larry and I discussed the situation for a while.  Larry then said, "Dave was talking about you just last week, saying it has been a while since you were over here..."   Jean and I attended the funeral that evening, both still in shock, as were many people.  And I kept thinking about how I put off getting my truck serviced and had not seen Dave in a while, and how I will miss talking and laughing with him, and exchanging "war tales" that he and I enjoyed telling each other so much.  Og Mandino was right.  You never know.  

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

   When this true story appeared in a Florida newspaper and was sent to me a few weeks ago, I filed it away and said, "This is definitely something I must share with my readers."  

   On his patio, a man was working on his motorcycle with the engine running. When the motorcycle slipped into gear, it dragged the man through the glass patio door and into the dining room. He lay bleeding on the floor as his wife called paramedics. They inspected him, determined he needed some treatment and transported him to the hospital for stitches. The wife then went into the dining room, pushed the motorcycle back outside and used some paper towels to blot up the gasoline that spilled onto the floor. She threw the towels into the toilet and went to the hospital to check on her husband.

   His stitches done, the man was released to come home. Upon arrival home, he looked at his shattered patio door and damaged motorcycle, became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat down, and smoked a cigarette. He then threw the cigarette into the toilet where the gasoline-soaked towels were. The toilet exploded, blowing the man's trousers away and burning his backside. His wife again ran to the telephone to call for an ambulance.

   The same paramedics came to the house again. As they were carrying the man on a stretcher down the stairs to the ambulance, one of them asked the wife how her husband had burned himself. She told the inquisitor, and the paramedics started laughing so hard that one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the man out. He tumbled down the remaining stair steps and broke his arm.

   I pulled the Florida man's story from my files when I thought I was going through a rather challenging time this week. Then I confirmed to myself that maybe my week hasn't been so rough after all. What about you? Sure, some of us may have had experiences this week that possibly top what the Florida man encountered, but I would dare say that most of us probably haven't surpassed him so far.

   As you may sympathize or even empathize with the motorcycle victim, let me remind you of a popular song from years ago recorded by Jerry Vale. Titled "Even The Bad Times Are Good," the essence of the song is that the singer was so much in love with his sweetheart that when he was with her she turned even the bad times into good. Syrupy, huh? I'm sure it would be very difficult for the Florida man and his wife to sing that song - but, at least they can build on some mistakes and continue on - just as we all can do most of the time when we suffer from negative experiences.

   Lessons from the motorcycle episode include: be extremely careful when working on an engine that's running, find a safe and secure work location, seek counsel when you feel despondent or depressed, realize that smoking can be very dangerous, and always flush.

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

   Are you average? Could it be you are above average? Or, is it possible you are in a category labeled as below average? Now, before you think too seriously about responding to these questions, you need to ask in return, "Am I average, above average or below average in WHAT? Ahhh... therein lies the important question.

   This column was triggered when I read an article by Jacquelyn Mitchard titled "The Search for the Perfect Apple." I've written a couple of columns about apples and for a long time have been intrigued by the many varieties now available. Mitchard said, "As this apple-picking season begins, the bustle to breed the best bushel is as brisk as the race to create the perfect hybrid car." I don't know exactly how many different kinds of apples are out there, but Cornell University's Experimental Research Station has bred and named 62 varieties.    

   But, let's get back to the "average" question. Something that jumped out from Mitchard's article is, "The average American eats 17.8 pounds of apples each year." Now, first of all, how in the world do you go about determining an "average American," especially during this day and time? Secondly, if we could agree upon what an average American is, this figure of 17.8 pounds reveals to me that many average Americans never touch an apple. I say this because for many years I have eaten at least one apple a day. The "average" apple from my apple bowl weighs 5.4 ounces. According to my math (in which I am sure I am not above average), this means I eat approximately 123 pounds of apples annually. This doesn't count the dishes we sometimes have, such as fried apples, fruit salad and the apple pies Jean is coerced into making every now and then.

   So, if you ask me if I am "above average," I can truthfully answer, "I am way above average. I eat 123 pounds of apples annually!" In turn, you may say that is not the type of average to which you are referring. Then when I ask you to explain your definition of average you may have some difficulty in doing so. That's one of the reasons I dislike hearing phrases that declare someone as an average, above average or below average teenager, student, athlete, musician, employee, patient, customer, boss... You get the idea. I dislike declaring an individual's "averagability" in very broad categories.

   And that is the whole point of this column - people are individuals. When I presented "A Strategy For Winning" at the East Tennessee Human Resource Agency (ETHRA) leadership conference for at-risk students in July, I emphasized, "Everyone in this room has strengths and weaknesses. The challenge is to discover, develop and wisely use what we have. While cultivating and building on our strengths, we can also use them to help us improve in our areas of weakness. And that is what today's seminar is all about."  

   One of the students (a very good apple, if I may say so) stood at the podium, looked the attendees in the eyes, and challenged everyone to not mess around, to get with the program, to overcome obstacles (she didn't know her father, and her mother is a prosecuted drug addict). She closed her challenge, as I close this column, sharing a short poem from my "Winning Thoughts" book titled Be You:

   "Drama, music, sports? Maybe business, math or art? What are your talents, likes - dislikes? How can you do your part? Teaching, writing, medicine? Helping others who have lost the way? Finding a niche and doing your thing... This makes a happy day!"              

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

   Like many of you, I am continuing to discover that more and more business is being conducted over the Internet and, specifically, by way of e-mail.  When I first began speaking professionally, I never imagined I would ever book engagements without communicating with the meeting planner on the telephone and through traditional mail.  Along came the popularity of the fax, which changed procedures somewhat, but nothing like the changes instigated by the Internet explosion about 10 years ago that began noticeably affecting the manner in which my speaking engagements were booked and continues to become more common.   

   Recently, I spoke for the first time with a meeting planner when she met me as I arrived at a conference in Arizona for which she had booked me as the keynote speaker.  Up until then, all communication with her had been via e-mail, except for the signed letter of agreement and deposit check I received through the postal service.  Even the questionnaire I require to be completed as I customize presentation preparations was handled through e-mail and never discussed on the phone.  To top that, however, I had another engagement where even the letter of agreement was taken care of over the Internet and the speaking deposit was made via Internet transfer.

   All of this is being shared in this column because it is hot on my mind as a result of a recent conversation with some other speakers who have been in the business for a long time like I have.  And the thing about it is, no matter the profession in which you are involved, if you have been around for very long then you know what the changes have been like in your specialty - and how things continue to change.     

   As many businesses can attest, the Internet affects all services and products.  In my case, selling books and other materials through my Web site has replaced flyers, brochures and various traditional methods. And I'm sure that many readers of this column agree with me when I say that letters received through traditional mail are becoming few and far between (except for bills - and even the billing companies are emphasizing more and more that consumers receive and pay bills via Internet).  In response to my columns, e-mails arrive weekly.  On the other hand, I can't remember the last time I received a column-response letter through the post office, which used to come frequently.       

   And with the introduction of MyMerlin.net, our new mentoring Web site for students and others, I am receiving some e-mail responses and questions that at first glance appear to be written in hieroglyphics or some alien language.  It's a continually-changing writing style that is popular with contemporary texters, tweeters and other such communicators.  In discussing this with school teachers, I am told that some students are trying to merge this communication style into text written for school projects.  Based on their frames of reference, experience and ages, teachers are dealing with this in various ways.

   I received a recent e-mail regarding MyMerlin.net that began with: "?4U" (Question for you).  Following the question that dealt with the disposition quiz I developed for the site, the e-mail concluded with: "TIA" (Thanks in advance).  Now, I will tell you, I am not into texting, but I did rather easily recognize the "?4U" part and deciphered the "TIA" closing.  I struggled through the question enough to comprehend its essence.  Maybe next week I will share with you the question and my reply to it.  It is something of interest to just about anyone, and I think of special interest to readers of my weekly column.

   TAFN (That's all for now).

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

   Since I refer to Dale Evans Rogers in today's column, I guess I had better mention for my younger readers that she was once widely-known as "Queen of the Cowgirls" and teamed up with "King of the Cowboys" Roy Rogers to entertain many kids, including me, with movies and television shows. After hanging up her spurs, she became a much-in-demand inspirational speaker and writer. She passed away at the age of 88 in 2001, preceded in death by her husband Roy in 1998. 

   In her 1986 book, The Home Stretch, Dale wrote, "I don't know Carl Mays, but..." And then she went on to tell about something in one of my books. When I had a speaking engagement in Palm Springs a couple of years later, I contacted Dale prior to the trip and we made arrangements for me to visit with Roy and her. They had a home in Apple Valley and a museum in nearby Victorville, about 70 miles from Palm Springs. 

   A year later, Dale and I shared the speaking platform at a corporate conference. She emphasized the importance of assuming people with whom we live and work have good intentions. She said even when they mess up, still assume they were trying to do the right thing but just didn't get it right - and then work together to remedy the reason for failure. She admitted she had been burned by using this approach, but the few "burnings" were outweighed by the great dividends she and others received. Dale said, "I realize some people think this approach is not realistic, that it is naïve, superficial, phony and dangerous. Nothing could be further from the truth. Through the years I have discovered only tough-minded people have what it takes to develop and maintain a healthy and inspiring positive attitude in dealing with people and situations." 

   Dale's words came to mind when my son Carl II, CEO of ClaimCare, sent me a quote from Indra Nooyi, CEO of PepsiCo. She learned from her father in India, "Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. You will be amazed at how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different. When you assume negative intent, you're angry. If you remove that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed.  Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response. You don't get defensive.  You don't scream. You are trying to understand and listen because at your basic core you are thinking, ‘Maybe this person is saying something to me that I'm not hearing...' 

   "In business, sometimes in the heat of the moment, people say things. You can either misconstrue what they're saying and assume they are trying to put you down, or you can think, ‘Wait a minute. Let me really get behind what they're saying to understand whether they are reacting because they're hurt, upset, confused, or they don't understand what it is I've asked them to do.' If you react from a negative perspective - because you didn't like the way they reacted - then it just becomes two negatives fighting each other. But when you assume positive intent, I think often what happens is the other person thinks, ‘Hey, wait a minute, maybe I'm wrong in reacting the way I do because this person is really making an effort.' " 

   Dale Evans and Indra Nooyi came from very different backgrounds, but both women gained the same valuable perspective to help them achieve success in their endeavors. 

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

   During the American Revolutionary War, Thomas Paine presented his case for independence from England in a pamphlet titled Common Sense.  He also wrote a series of essays collectively titled The Crisis.  Many of us are familiar with the opening sentence of the initial essay of December 23, 1776: "These are the times that try men's souls."  With these words he began his ongoing support for an independent and self-governing America through the war's many crises.  General George Washington found the essay so inspiring he ordered it read to the troops at Valley Forge. 

   Paine emphasized: "The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.  Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.  What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.  Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated.  Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to TAX) but ‘to BIND us in ALL CASES WHATSOEVER' and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, then is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth.  Even the expression is impious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God."

   We observed and celebrated Independence Day this year in the midst of another series of crises.  These current economic, cultural, moral and political crises may be miniscule compared to those in 1776, but they can be truly deemed crises.  Experienced individually and collectively, they are present on various levels throughout the world.  Thus, it came as no surprise when my recent column titled "Don't give in, don't give out, don't give up" drew numerous e-mails and comments.

   One respondent told me, "This could not have come at a better and more opportune time.  I have been discouraged by a number of things: some health-related issues, some age-related issues, some family-related issues and some dream-related issues."  A company CEO wrote, "I have had employees making some positive comments about your column today."  An entertainer said, "We all currently need such inspiration and encouragement."  

   Readers especially commented on my wife Jean's words (and the column title): "Don't give in, don't give out, don't give up."  And comments came heavily regarding the column's final paragraph: "Players, coaches, teachers, students, employers, employees, spouses, parents, children... everyone needs to encourage and to be encouraged. Have you ever failed at anything? I have. Have you ever gotten down on yourself? I have. Have you ever needed encouragement? I have. Have you ever been encouraged by someone? I have. Have you ever been an encourager? I have. As (LSU baseball player) Jared Mitchell said, ‘It's everybody pulling together...' and never giving up." 

   No, the individual and group crises we are experiencing today can't compare to those of Thomas Paine's day, nor can my words of encouragement and challenge make any mark whatsoever on the Richter scale in comparison to Paine's words.  The truth of the matter, however, is that we must never lose sight of the vital necessity of individual and group persistence.  Sometimes it's a huge challenge to maintain the philosophy I emphasize in my Winning Thoughts book: "Often, the main difference between an obstacle and an opportunity is the attitude with which we face it.  Are you pinned-in on your own one-yard line - or - do you have a great opportunity to go 99 yards for a touchdown!"  It is a challenge.  But we can do it.  Together.

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About our guest Blogger:

© Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."