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    The good, the bad and the ugly surround us

    Posted by Carl Mays on Sat, Oct 10, 2009 @ 01:20 AM

    motivation communication

       The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is a 1966 epic western film starring Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef and Eli Wallach in the title roles. One of the most popular and well-known westerns made, the film is regarded by many critics as a classic. It was one of Time magazine's "100 Greatest Movies of the Last Century." I explain all of this because Jean and I quite frequently refer to experiences, situations or people as The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

       The descriptive phrase came to mind earlier this week as I was reading a sports reporter's perception of a football game. The writer described one player as doing a "good" job in fulfilling his responsibilities. He then quoted a coach who said a player made a "bad" decision. The writer went on to quote another coach who said it was an "ugly" win.

       And then yesterday, as I reclined in a hospital bed awaiting the endoscopy procedure I get the pleasure of experiencing every five years (tongue-in-cheek), a nurse who was looking at information on a form asked me what I do as CEO/president of Carl Mays' Creative Living, Inc. When I told her I am a professional writer and speaker, she asked me what I write and speak about. I explained my specialization is in human relations, motivation, leadership, teamwork, communication and performance improvement. I then added I have spoken to quite a number of healthcare groups, including hospitals.

       The nurse responded, "I've been to some meetings like that." She paused and then continued, "Do you think that type of thing really works?" I replied, "Well, do you think what you do as a nurse really works?" She looked at me with sort of a deer-caught-in-the-headlight expression, and then nodded her head and said, "Yeah." I told her, "Your job works if you are a good, professional nurse who knows what you are doing and if the patients with whom you work are cooperative and come in with the right attitude. Am I right?" She nodded and said, "I guess so." I continued, "The meetings we're talking about work if you have a good, professional speaker who knows what he or she is doing and if the people who attend the meeting come with a cooperative spirit and the right attitude." The nurse said, "I guess you're right." I replied, "Well, I've made over 3,500 presentations - so either it works or I've been able to pull the wool over many people's eyes through the years." She nodded her head and said, "Good point."

       After a pause, the nurse commented, "But, you know, it won't work if the leaders don't buy into. You've got to have support from the leaders if it's going to work." I replied, "There is always a ladder of accountability - from the top to the bottom and from the bottom to the top. Every leader on every level and every team member on every level, who is accountable for tasks and responsibilities rather than making excuses or blaming others, is a part of the solution and not a part of the problem."

       The nurse nodded her head and said, "You're right." And then, I thought of the phrase that had been brought to mind earlier during the week and told her, "But in every organization of any kind, you always have The Good, the Bad and the Ugly." She laughed and nodded her head.

       My gastroenterologist was pleased with the results of my endoscopy - and, thus, so was I. Next week, I have the opportunity to experience my five-year colonoscopy. The saga of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly continues.

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    About our guest Blogger:

    © Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

    Tags: motivation, communication

    Are you getting your message across?

    Posted by Carl Mays on Tue, Sep 29, 2009 @ 01:52 AM

    communication motivation

       Regular readers of this column know I have emphasized previously that according to the American Management Association, 90 percent of all problems in any organization is a direct result of poor communication.

    One breakdown in communication that happens frequently is when we use a certain word in order to express ourselves and then the hearer takes the word in an entirely different way than we intended. With this in mind, and tongue-in-cheek, I share something from The Washington Post. 

       The newspaper annually publishes winning submissions to a contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for commonly used words. Some recent winners include: coffee (noun): the person upon whom one coughs; lymph (verb): to walk with a lisp; flabbergasted (adjective): appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained; abdicate (verb): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach; esplanade (verb): to attempt an explanation while drunk; negligent (adjective): absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown; flatulence (noun): emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller; circumvent (noun): an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

       Another breakdown in communication occurs when we mispronounce a word or when we misspell a word in a memo, e-mail message or some other document. A tiny alteration may tremendously change the meaning of what we were attempting to express. Such misuse of the language can produce destroyed relationships, lost jobs, lost money and other dire consequences. So looking at another communication barrier with tongue-in-cheek, I mention that The Washington Post also publishes winning submissions to its annual Mensa Invitational in which participants are asked to choose any word from the dictionary, alter the word by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and then supply the altered word with a new definition. 

       Some of these recent winners include: intaxication (noun): euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with; cashtration (noun): the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time; reintarnation (noun): coming back to life as a hillbilly; decafalon (noun): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you; bozone (noun): the substance surrounding people that stops new, bright ideas from penetrating; giraffiti (noun): words or images spray-painted very, very high; caterpallor (noun): the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you are eating; Beelzebug (noun): Satan, in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

       In my "Are We Communicating Yet?" book I pose the rhetorical question, "Why is there such a failure to communicate?" And then in response I emphasize that one reason is because people fail to keep in mind that good communication does not occur merely because an intended message has been presented. More important than what is said or written is how others perceive and respond to what they receive. The greatest obstacle to good communication is the assumption communication has taken place when it hasn't. The Washington Post contests present a humorous, clever way to exemplify how easily messages can be distorted.  

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    About our guest Blogger:

    © Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

    Tags: motivation, communication

    Extend care, kindness and understanding

    Posted by Carl Mays on Wed, Sep 23, 2009 @ 06:37 PM

    motivation communication   On the occasions when I tell Jean something such as, "I'm going to the post office, drop by the pharmacy, then on to the bank, and I may swing by the hardware store on the way back," she often replies with something like, " Well, maybe I'll see you again today."  She knows when I "go out" there is no telling how many people I will run into and strike up a conversation with - and just how long I may be gone - unless I have a definite time by which I must return.

       But I don't plan these encounters.  I just know that when I do run into people and they want to talk, or they look like they need someone to talk with them, to give them some acknowledgement, or maybe a "pick-me-up," I feel that if conversing with them can make a difference in their days then I want to do it, with no second thought.  And, I usually enjoy it.

       Og Mandino (1923-1996), author of "The Greatest Salesman in the World" and other best sellers, was an early mentor who wrote one of the first testimonials for my "A Strategy For Winning" book.  We shared the speaking platform a few times, and something I recall Og saying is, "Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if he or she is going to be dead by midnight.  Extend to everyone all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward.  Your life will never be the same again."

       Og's words came to mind and this column was inspired by the recent death of Dave Baker, co-owner with brother-in-law Larry Cole of Five Oaks Tire and Service in Sevierville.  I was behind on getting the tires on one of my vehicles rotated and balanced.  Due to a heavy schedule I had been putting it off.  When I finally phoned early Tuesday morning, July 14, and Larry answered, I said, "Hi, Larry, this is Carl. How's it going?"  There was a pause, and then Larry replied, "Pretty good," in a manner that was rather un-Larry-like.  I said, "Well, I'd like to see if it might be possible for me to bring my truck over for rotation, balance, and maybe check the alignment this morning."

       There was another pause before Larry replied, "Well, Carl... here's the situation..."  I thought he was going to tell me about a big work load or something like that.  But Larry continued with, "Dave died Saturday..."  The pause was mine this time.  Larry went on to say, "We're closing today at noon, the funeral is tonight, and we won't be open tomorrow."  Of course, all thoughts of tires and rotation left my mind completely and I told Larry so.  We talked about Dave's sudden, truly unexpected death.  (Later, I discovered it was determined to be caused by a dislodged blood clot that probably formed about 38 years ago when Dave broke his leg in an automobile accident.)

       Larry and I discussed the situation for a while.  Larry then said, "Dave was talking about you just last week, saying it has been a while since you were over here..."   Jean and I attended the funeral that evening, both still in shock, as were many people.  And I kept thinking about how I put off getting my truck serviced and had not seen Dave in a while, and how I will miss talking and laughing with him, and exchanging "war tales" that he and I enjoyed telling each other so much.  Og Mandino was right.  You never know.  

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    About our guest Blogger:

    © Carl Mays, father of ClaimCare CEO Carl Mays II, is an author and speaker at over 3,500 events.  Contact Carl at carlmays@carlmays.com or 865-436-7478.  His motivational speaking and book information can be found on http://www.carlmays.com/.  The Student Mentoring site MyMerlin.Net for students and others is based on his book and program, "A Strategy For Winning."

    Tags: motivation, communication

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